happiness

Be flexible

Judson L Moore

Judson L Moore Travel addict. Ambitious about making the world a better place. Writing what I learn along the way.
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Be flexible

Your work isn’t over once you’ve written a plan for accomplishing your life goals. As I said there, “The most important aspect to any plan is the flexibility to change.” This philosophy is critical. A long-term plan will not serve you well if you do not allow yourself the flexibility to make changes as you go.

Having a plan is great and all, but remember, life is complicated. You are always getting new information, and the circumstances are ever-changing. The ability to be flexible is paramount. Flexibility is not about flip-flopping or even changing your mind. It is about allowing yourself and your plan to adapt to a continually changing environment so that you ensure success in accomplishing your goals.

How to be flexible

Flexibility is hard. People don’t like the uncertainty of change. Learning to be flexible takes discipline. Once mastered, you can apply it to achieving success in all aspects of your life.

Flexibility is the extent to which a person can cope with changes in circumstances and think about problems and tasks in novel, creative ways. This trait is used when stressors or unexpected events occur, requiring a person to change their stance, outlook, or commitment.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when addressing your own ability to be flexible:

5 ways to improve your flexibility

  • Accept the cliche that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Change is a part of life.
  • Keep an open mind to new ideas and trying new things.
  • Ask other people what is one thing they always wanted to do, and then do it with them.
  • Don’t keep secrets. Let others know you’re looking for a change and let them support you.
  • Change the order of your daily routine or the location where you perform daily tasks (like trying a new coffee shop).

Getting good at being flexible requires some trial and error. Don’t force it. Just practice good judgment that favors your goals and happiness, the flexibility will come.

How to be spontaneous

Planning is just goal setting. Goals also change. When a primary life goal changes, then you need to rethink the steps in achieving that goal, but you still need to take some time to contemplate what the best steps are.

Sometimes, the best step to take is a spontaneous one. Living in the moment and just doing what feels right without overthinking the benefits or consequences can often lead to the most rewarding experiences and memories. If a spontaneous decision is going to lead to disaster, you will probably have an idea about that possibility before jumping in, so hopefully, you will also intuitively make the best spontaneous decision.

Spontaneity gets easier as you gain life experiences. This is because you gain more comfort in your decision-making. Making decisions on-the-fly is a valuable skill in all aspects of life and it is a skill that really pays to have when flexibility is the goal.

I discuss decision-making skills in great detail in Chapter 4 of Exponential Happiness. The principles I share with you there are going to help you make on-the-fly decisions as well as more long-term decisions.

How to overcome Stagnation

“Go mode” is not the default. There are times when we will stall out. The Plan will take a backseat to the realities of our life. We all have obligations with friends, family, work, and community that can slow down and even alter the course of our own lives. That is ok, that is life, and you can also celebrate the slow times as well.

But we can’t just sit around the campfire and sing Kumbaya forever. If we did that, eventually, the fire would run cold, and someone would have to chop more firewood. The action steps that you will write down for accomplishing your life goal while reading Chapter 2 of Exponential Happiness are like the wood for your Life Plan’s fire. You always have to be gathering more wood, or the fire runs out.

When you find yourself stagnating, or feeling like you’re not getting anywhere in your life’s ambitions, it is time to make some assessments. Try to identify the reason or reasons why you are not making progress.

Example questions to ask yourself if you are stagnating

  • Are you becoming disenchanted with your topic of study? Maybe what you have learned is that you don’t want to be the thing you are studying for when you grow up.
  • Is your job no longer challenging you and providing you with opportunities to grow?
  • Do you lack support or inspiration in some part of your life or even the community where you live?
  • Are your friends, or maybe a roommate, black holes who suck all the energy and inspiration out of you? It can be harsh to think about, but maybe your social group is holding you back.

If you can identify the place or places in your life that are not helping you rise to the occasion, then it is time to make some changes. Change, especially worthwhile change, can be challenging to make in the beginning.

If you are in your final year of university and realize that you need a drastic change in your studies that will delay graduation, that is a tough decision to make. But isn’t it better to make it now than to graduate with a degree which only opens doors which will make you unhappy?

Similarly, how long do you want to be in the comfort of the steady job that is going to get you nowhere?

Changing your social group may feel impossible, but there are always ways in which you can alter your daily routines, extracurricular activities, or surroundings so that you become exposed to new people and ideas.

Change often appears to be a sudden thing to outside people, but to you, this is a process that can, and sometimes should take quite a while to implement. After identifying that a change needs to come, you can spend a significant time seeking out the adjustments that make the most sense. It is good to investigate options, but don’t let the abundance or lack of apparent possibilities hold you back from making a change once you know you need one.

If you find that the change you made was not the best, that is fine, because then you get to make another change and will be all that much more well-prepared to choose wisely. This iterative learning process is a natural part of life and will come back into play later when we go into a more in-depth discussion regarding decision-making.

Check out my book Exponential Happiness for loads more details on this and other topics to help you in your pursuit of happiness!

If you’re not yet ready to dive into a book, then please leave me a comment below with any questions you have and I will be happy to advise you the best I can directly!


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